15 August 2011

Customer dari NERAKA!!!

korang pernah kena macam ni?
"Kami takde budget nak bayar ko, tapi kami akan bagi kupon diskaun untuk ko makan kat sini"

"Can you increase the logo to two-fingers size"

client : bro, my boss love the flyers design..but can u change the language to something understandable..

me : it's a temp text called 'lorem ipsum'. i'll change it back once u give me the text to put in.

client : well, put some other language..english would be nice

me : eeeerrrrrr.....

"Are you F**king with me, i thought freelancers work for FREE!"

"can you make my boss smile in this photo, i mean, really smile, with teeth showing"

"I want the layout of every page to be unorganise, but consistant"

"can u make it more like fb and google and less myspace or yahoo?"

"My daughter dont like it..change it to something else"

"I have this photo i took from my iphone of our office building. You just can only see the roof of our building because of this building in front, can u delete this building?"

Client : saya baru email info untuk nak letak dlm design banner tu nanti

Me : Saiz banner tu 2 x 6 kan? gantung depan Ampang Point? ermmm byk sgt info ni cik, tak muat.

Client : Xpe cuba masukkan semua info, penting semua tu

Me : erm...maaf cik, kalo byk sgt info mcm karangan nih takde mase org naik kereta nak baca sekali imbas

Client : Xpe, buat la design banner yg interesting supaya orang akan stop dan baca. Jam skit takpe la

Me : *facepalm*

"Design macam ni yang u charge i sampai $$$, anak i pon boleh buat"

"I just learned that it's been a while since u do Website designing, since we dont have any budget to pay u, i think it's a good practise if u take this job for your portfolio"

FirstDarft; "My boss tak brape suka design logo2 yang u bagi, can u make another 10 sample?"
SecoNd Draft; "Still tak seperti yg kami mahukan"
third Draft; "My boss cakap, pakai design logo yang first draft aritu k?"

"takpe, ko buat dulu. jangan risau la sbb banyak giler job aku nak bagi ko nih"

"ALAAAAAA, BUKAN AKU SURUH KO PASANG KHEMAH KE MASAK NASIK KE, AMBIK GAMBAR JER KOT!!!"

"Design u cantik2, tapi kalo u letak harga mahal2 camni mmg takde la orang nak upah u"

"Ok, if i get u this job i take 70% u take 30% ok?"

Me: can u give me your hi-res company logo, the one that u gave is 16px x 16px
Client: We paid u..so do ur job!!
Me: eerrrrrrrr....

YM conversation
Client: We told u that we want the layout to be ELEGANT..kami bayar mahal2 tapi u tak reti design dan follow simple instruction!!!
Me: erm...ok2 bagi saye 15 minit k?

Selepas 15 minit
Client: Haaaa...this is what we want. Good job, sorry about my previous remark.
aku just tukar font 'GEORGIA' ke 'GEORGIA ITALIC'

"more white but make it colorful so it catches people attention"

"Abang, gambar satu roll brape abang charge?"

"My daughter said, put some butterfly"

Selepas hampir sebulan membuat flash website untuk company nih; dia kate
"boi, tolong tukar kepada HTML plak, bos i nak tgk sblm launch benda nih kat KLSentral nanti"

Launch date: lagi dua hari T_____T

"camne nak email?"

Setelah berminggu meeting, mintak macam2, siap kena sound last2 marketing lady agree on the charges dan suh aku bg invoice...dan hari esoknya........
client : i've just discuss it with my accountant and he said it's overpriced and he can find me someone who can do it with half the price. im giving u last chance to work with us! FYI, We hate CHEATERS!!!

aku : (hati tgh panas) how much u pay your accountant? I'm sure i can find u someone with half the pay that he's getting.

*phone hang up*

credit to :
Boii Amani Hashim

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